Now you find all the space and time, pondering on what has been, could anything change? Was it meant to stay the same?
Suddenly spiraling thoughts lingering into weights that seems beyond measures itself, however you’ll find constant breathing and reassurance of happenings throughout your destined time, although your motions at this stage in time seems heavy and quite a burden to bare, yet there are days that waiver these motions and you seeming perfectly fine, it’s like a constant wave that reaches your tide at its peak, yet coming down gradually.
How has things changed?
A brand new day in reach, and the smelling of fresh air, perfumed greenery, the sea water so ever salty along with its pacing waves endlessly forming more. Reaching new Era’s in a day becomes strangely enlightening and awakening.
Ever heard the saying “where you are right now, in this particular moment in time. Is where you’re meant to be.”
Flames to ashes, ashes to dust that splashes all around- in light of all this you sprinkle a bit of you everywhere you go on this journey, you in control of your seeds you plant, each root inside you grows deeper as the day passes by, your daily so called routine varies and for some reason you keep on going, it’s all part of a greater plan which you are yet to discover, that’s the beauty of a surprise!
“Little do you know I’m trying to pick myself up piece by piece.”
Scar tissues for a moment are somewhat a blessing at its rare points, and you’ll only begin to realize it as time continuous…
Discovering every emotion internally that you ever kept hidden through the dark ages, and it comes back at your lightest hour, embracing it is challenging, understanding the real meaning behind it is endless, feeling it becomes timeless, within the daily you find yourself evolving at bigger pace than before, everything seems too new and fresh, its just the start.
rushing yourself throughout these brand new discoveries becomes exhausting, forcing yourself through a process can have a negative impact, scriptures written way before the universe discovered you, has somewhat endless beauty in it as it keeps evolving with you in it, searched answers are within the everyday.
“I couldn’t see it coming even if I tried; if it didn’t kill me then I’m half alive.”
Sleepless nights awakened by chaotic chaos streaming your mind, endless sound of wonders, an uncontrollable ponder in search of answers, which is felt in every vein of your being, flustered emotions ran skin deep, Suddenly each night becomes clearer leading up to an answer, soaked air full of meaning, your skies are clearing night after night, these days suddenly becoming bright within everything, all of it seems right.
It’s okay to have things wrong at times; awoken brand new perceptions in a brutal world filled with catastrophe finds its sweet silver lining in the end although everything seems estranged and quite fresh, with time moments fade as though it was never inked, initially caught yourself being at “peace” with the universe’s plan, “one door closes, another door opens”, A wide awakening becomes a blessing in disguise, detaching from attaching and suddenly a new hatching.
“Even angels have their wicked schemes, but you take that to new extremes”…
Times have passed by and gravity wakes you up inside to a brand new alignment of possibilities, hopes and endless beginnings, the stretched narrow road has endless stopping, sometimes one would brake to catch a breather but would always find continuation.
Often being caught between a hard rock and drenched concrete, time is not on your side however any choice you make still has a path way, throughout the rocky choices that pushes you to limits out of your comfort zone screams growth, its challenging but quite face-able, you suddenly learn and search new profound elements about yourself that wasn’t visible to the naked eye, until each and every part of your being adjust to new strength-full changes you’ll have peace of mind. Everything takes time, patience is key critical at this stage of your life.
way way too much on the brain and somehow it finds a way of coming out, age 21-22 i somehow felt way too much weight of this heavy world on my shoulders, still do as im currently 22 but not as bad,anxiety became a normal thing and every sad emotion was just continuously suppressed as i wasn’t one to believe in sad things, i would keep on going and just ignore sad emotions, i wouldn’t let anything out, tears wasn’t a thing (infront of people), life kept on coming and i kept on going…for some reason every critic by the days became important, i started to worry and it became a constant thing as everyone would like to be “liked” by everyone/anyone . Trying to be extra nice to people just to not receive any negative response would put my mind at ease, but then worries would kick in for the next day (what is about to happen etc)..a repetition would keep on happening *critics* and the whole trying to be nice type of thing…this started to get old, i kept on searching for ways out, continuous thoughts of being done with life as i kept reminiscing that everything i thought i “want” or “need” at the time i never kept and it would just disappear once its in my reach, in the phases of searching for myself as a person , as a creation of theee almighty! ..i would pray and pray these times, and for a while the negativity of people surrounding me stopped , but i still had the feeling of people “wanting to take you down” and like the “having to be strong” thing…that time the whole “strength” thing was my weakest part, whenever i felt cornered tears would naturally flow and then later felt embarrassed as “people saw” still do though.
ALHAMDULILAH today i can sit back and positively think that maybe all those confusing “mixed emotions” was the next part of my growth, to handle myself first before anyone else, to learn to be human, to try and find a part of myself that was always there but never found, to know that its okay to be weak sometimes , that’s when REAL strength is shown, and right now im learning patience and enduring its an amazing feeling to learn to let go of what you cannot control or that is not in your reach but to submit to the will of thee almighty and he surely would see to the rest, today i feel so at ease that now i can handle people better and sometimes sacrifices are needed to get by the other brighter side…along the way you reap the benefits, right now its thinking positively that counts, create your own vibe and just let people be, you cannot change their ways of thinking, but you surely in control of yours, life will try and get the best of you, but how you stand up makes a whole difference…you not fully their to figuring everything out but you halfway…